you tell me
by mariadlr
Summary: one mistake and it can change everything. but one thing that stays the same is the fate of liily evans and james potter.


A/N: I haven't finished a story once. It's because I lose interest in it, or because I really don't like it once I start. So, I'm going to try this as a one-shot. But, if I feel like it I'll add chapters. So, don't expect anything.

Disclaimer: I'm not J.K Rowling, nor do I own what she does.

You Tell Me

The nerve he has. I, Lily Evans, am sick of him. I'm Lily Evans. Dark red hair, green eyes, and porcelain skin. My friends think I'm gorgeous. Guys watch me and I don't get it. I'm just an ordinary teenage girl. Actually scratch that. I doubt every girl goes through what I have. Or else, that's a pity.

I'm sitting outside of the castle, by the lake- my arms holding my legs to me, the wind blowing my hair every where. This is where I do my thinking and where I can be alone. My mind feels like it's about to explode that my eyes started watering. Everything about him is so infuriating- his face, his eyes, his smile…his laugh…his voice. _Snap out of it, Lily! _

I didn't know how long I stayed outside, under the beech tree, but then I heard the bell ring, signaling students to dinner. As I got up, to make my way to the hall, I let a breath I didn't know I was holding, out. When I got to the entrance hall, I heard my best friend, Alice Kirk. She had mahogany-y brown hair and blue with silver squiggly lines in her eyes.

"Lily! There you are. Whoa! What happened?" she asked, concern coloring her voice.

"Nothing," I replied. I should've known better than to lie. Alice has been my best friend for ages that she knows everything about my facial expression.

"Lily, come on. You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I'll tell you later," I mumbled. "Right now, I'm starving." I said, trying to lighten the mood.

We walked into the hall and I sat at the end of the Gryffindor table, far away from James Potter and his friends, my friends. At the beginning of this year, Potter and I agreed to be friends. See, before that, I couldn't stand him and since we were both heads, I guess it was time to put our differences aside. Of course, this meant his entire group, the Marauders.

Sometime this year, I don't know when, I started fancying him. He was different- more mature, and more bearable. In a way, I think I changed as well- I decided to loosen up this year. I told him this a week ago, he asked me out and I was officially his girlfriend. I thought I was going well until today. After today's third class, I walked to the head dorm and well…

_Flashback_

_I entered the Heads dorm and saw James' bag on the couch in front of the fire. I guessed he was here so I walked up his stairs and knocked on the door. He didn't answer so I opened it._

_I saw him snogging that girl in our year. What was her name? Crystal…Rivera? Yeah that's it. My stomach dropped, my eyes got teary and my legs shook._

"_What the hell is this?!" I yelled at the two. I was surprised to hear my voice sound strong. They broke apart and looked at me.  
_

"_Lily! It's not what it looks like" James stuttered at me._

"_Oh really? It looks like you're snogging that slut in front of you!" I screamed at him, glaring at the two._

"_Lily, look… it really isn't what it looks like. I was ju-" Crystal started, but I didn't let her finish._

"_Don't you dare talk to me! Both of you," the tears were rolling down my face by now._

"_Lily, come on…" James reasoned._

"_No, James! I see I was interrupting something. I'll just go now." I turned my back to them and paused. "Oh James? We're done."_

_Then I ran. I ran till I got some where. I ran to my safe place. I felt the infatuated teenage girl being left behind. My heart broke and my world turned to gray._

_End flashback_

The hall went quiet as I sat down away from the Marauders. Alice stood behind me, looking shocked.

"Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Why aren't we sitting with your boyfriend and the guys?" she asked, truly confused. Everyone heard due to the silence in the hall. I felt eyes on me. I turned to look at Alice and calmly asked,

"Boyfriend? What boyfriend?"

You could almost hear everyone's head turn to James, who was looking down. His friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, looked at him and instantly knew what was happening. They shook their heads, disappointingly and ashamed.

Alice knew she was going to hear the story later, so she shrugged her shoulders and sat down beside me.

The atmosphere in the hall was heavy. It felt like it was crushing me. I stood and told Alice I wasn't hungry. Then, for the second time that day, I ran.

~&~

"James, what the bloody hell did you this time?" Sirius asked. James knew that Sirius liked Lily as if she were his little sister. He was protective of her, and she treated him like a big brother. They were close. James knew. He knew he messed up.

"I messed up. Help me!" James explained what happened. See, Crystal was his summer fling. He really did like her, but he liked Lily more. When she approached him today, he remembered why he liked her and just got too tempted. When Lily opened the door, he remembered why he and Crystal ended their fling.

"James…" Remus started, shaking his head.

"I know, Remus. I messed up!" James cried.

"Look, mate, she's getting up. Talk to her, Prongs. Tell her…" Sirius told him.

James ran after her and caught up with her in a deserted hall. He grabbed her arm and turned her around. Her eyes were red, and she looked really pale.

"Lily, please, can we talk?" he asked.

"No."

"Lily, please. We need to talk," he pulled her into a class room and locked the door. She pulled her arm away from him and walked to a seat. She propped her elbows on the desk, her head in her hands. He went to stand in front of her.

"What more do you want from me, James?" she asked defeated.

"I want you, Lily. I NEED you" he said, almost pleadingly. Her head snapped up and looked at him. "Lily, I'm sorry. I really sorry."

"You're sorry? You know, James. This" she gestured between them "is the reason I rejected you all those times. I knew, I knew in the core of my bones, that I was going to end up heart broken. This year I decided to take more chances, which is exactly what I did with you. James, I loved you. I did. But the sight of you kissing her, kissing some one else, reminded me what I knew."

"Lily, I'm sorry. I've said it so many times. I love you, with all my heart. Please Lily, isn't that enough?" he asked.

"You tell me. How can 'sorry' ever heal a broken heart?" Lily replied. A heavy silence filled the room. They watched the sun go down, both with teary eyes.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I am truly sorry. I didn't mean to do it. I just…lost it" he apologized. "Please, Lily. Please. I was just scared. You were being distant, you were pushing me away."

"I've been pushing you away?! You snogged that girl, and I'm pushing you away?" she shouted at him. They could hear four people outside the door, and knew it was their friends. But right now, they didn't care. "I wasn't pushing you away, James. I was holding on for dear life. But I need you to need me back. Why didn't you tell me about the summer? Why didn't you tell me about her? Why didn't you tell me how you felt? And why won't you ever just let me all the way in?"

"Lily, please," James begged. He was crying. He knew that what Lily said was true.

"James, I'm sorry," she said.

"Lily, you have no idea how hard it is for me, as well," he said, softly.

"Not as hard as it is for me, James. How would you feel, if the one person you trusted the most, the person who you gave your heart to, went behind your back?"

"It's hard, Lily. I know how hard it is. But, please… we can work through this"

"I can't, James. I'm sorry. I can't look at you the same way. When I see you, I see her. I feel this emptiness and pain, and its breaking me. I can't go through that. I just can't. I'm sorry." With that, she jumped up and unlocked the door. She came face to face with Alice, Sirius, Remus and Peter, all looking at her pleadingly. They couldn't stand seeing their friends like this. Once again she ran. Not only leaving her thoughts behind, but many broken hearts.

A/N: hahha I know this is like the weirdest ever. But I think I'm going to continue this. Some of the lines are from one tree hill, and friends (?) and yeah.. Review? Yes please


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